Since the mass shooting at Robb Elementary School in Uvalde, Texas, on May 24 that left 19 children and two teachers dead, fear and grief have gripped classrooms and households across the nation.

Many families struggled with whether or not they should talk to their children about the horrific event. But experts say it's important to have that conversation – in an age appropriate way – as many children and teenagers may find out about the shooting online or hear inaccurate information from friends.

"We want them to hear it from us," says Dave Anderson, clinical psychologist and vice president of school and community programs at the Child Mind Institute, a New York City-based nonprofit. "It's better when they're not in the dark and get correct information that they can process with a trusted adult."

U.S. News spoke with Gerard Lawson, past president of the American Counseling Association and professor in the school of education at Virginia Tech, and Anderson, about advice for parents on discussing school shootings with their children and signs of distress to look for after a traumatic news event.

Approaches to Talking With Your ChildrenEarly Elementary School

Preschool or kindergarten-aged kids may not fully understand what's happening, Lawson says.

"At that age, they're more likely to express any of their fear or helplessness through their play," he adds. "Parents can be tuned in to how they're playing and ask them some questions about it. Help them to express what's going on in their play, so that you can see whether they're going to resolve it on their own or whether you need to reach out for some additional support."

With young kids, the conversation might be a little bit more indirect. Anderson suggests parents say something like: "There was a person who lives far from here who did something that was extremely hurtful to other people. A number of people died and that's one of the reasons why we are very sad. And this actually happened in a school."

Late Elementary School to Early Middle School

There is more of an understanding of the permanence of death in this age group, so families can provide more of the facts.

Anderson advises parents to say something along the lines of: "There was a person who was quite violent and, in this case, chose as an expression of anger to go to a nearby elementary school and engage in gun violence there." Then see what types of questions, responses or feelings arise.

"Often what we see is that they may want to hear and talk more about it. They may want to know if there's a plan to keep them safe," Lawson says. "Follow the child's lead. Ask questions of them and let them ask questions of us. But be sure that we're not getting too far in front of them, so that we're not providing them with more information than they are ready for or more than they're asking for."